I woke up still thinking about this. First, it's not my business to try and tell you what you should do. For that I apologize. Usually I try to share my story, and hope that maybe someone can find something in it that helps them...just as I have benefited from the experience, strength and hope of others.
When I first went into Al-Anon, I briefly met a guy who was the spouse of one of the ladies in rehab with my wife. He was a recovering alcoholic, working his own program of recovery. There was something about him though...to me it seemed like he just radiated something. Something spiritual was going on with him. I was an abused kid who grew up with a father that was a minister...and I became an atheist at an early age. I thought that God had either forgotten me, or he was seriously twisted. I gave up on God for decades. But I met this guy and saw something in him that I wanted. I found that I had a thirst for my own sense of spirituality, and until that point in time I didn't even realize that something was missing in my life.
So besides coming to Al-Anon to support my wife's recovery, I made a personal commitment to take a spiritual journey.
One of the first things I heard in Al-Anon was the concept that I wasn't there to "fix" the alcoholic, I was there for myself. I had to accept that on faith because I didn't think I was broken. I thought what a lot of people think: "She's the alcoholic, why do I need to change!?" All I know for sure is that with time, I have changed and I really credit the program. Funny how coincidences work, but I read this line in an Al-Anon Forum magazine this morning: "Nothing changed; I changed, and everything changed."
One of the things I've learned in Al-Anon is that I can't control other people. I can't make them do what I want. But what I've seen first hand is that the changes I make in myself, are reflected in my relationships.
One final thought: As I sat in those Al-Anon rooms, I often heard people describe themselves as "a grateful member of Al-Anon." I had no idea what they were talking about or what they had to be grateful for. All I can say is that now, having experienced the love and fellowship of Al-Anon, having experienced the positive changes in my life, and having recognized that I'm on a path where the growth I can experience in the future is unlimited...all I can say is that I am a grateful member of Al-Anon.
I wish you the best of luck on your own journey.