Definitely check out the forum Dee gave you the link to.
You too can become a "Double Winner". Many of us Alcoholics/Addicts also have co dependency problems, and having a "Toxic" person in our life, be they spouse, significant other, sibling, parent, child, niece or nephew, etc can be dangerous for us.
Thus there is also Alanon and yes Alanon accepts us with open arms.
I cannot tell you what to do ........................ I do think you see there is a problem, and now it's time to figure out what to do about it. If not Alanon, please find yourself a counselor who specializes in addiction.
Know that we are here for you, be it yuor recovery from alcoholism or your other issues (ie 'toxic' mate).
This site has so much for so many of us!
Love and hugs,