Hello there Jamy!
I just thought of this reading your post, and I'm gonna try it myself.
Next time the substance abuser in your life gets bent out of shape because you're telling "his" would be secrets, pick up something heavy and hand it to him. Really heavy, like an end table, or a car battery, or a 50 pound rock. Say "Hold this. No, NO! You can't rest it on anything, you just have to stand there and hold it..... what do you mean when can you put it down... you can't put it down, you have to hold it forever. What do you mean? What are you weak? Hey, you're sweating."
Even a person with a lot of strength can't hold a heavy object forever. Either they put it down, or they drop it. Coming to the forum is putting down the heavy object.