Welcome and I hope that you are successful in breaking your cycle.
Back in the 80's I was a recreational drug user and thankfully stopped before I got into a more problematic (addictive) cycle.
I really can't credit myself with kicking it, what happened was I became pregnant with my first child, once I saw that positive on the test stick, there was no problem kicking it.
Unfortunately, 25 years later, I have become an alcohol abuser, which I am trying to kick now. I wish you the best of luck in wrestling your dragon.
My son just graduated law school last May and from his description I know what a grueling schedule you are under...just remember all of the benefits that will come your way once you pass the bar, you have a bright future, keep the faith that you can kick this monster to the curb.
Welcome!! (I'm new too).