Sarah85

Hi, I'm Sarah. New to the site. I've been a binge drinker since I turned 21. I'm 26 now.

My dad struggled with an alcohol problem for years. He was a daily drinker and would stop in the bar after work and drink until 10 or 11 at night. He was never an angry drunk (in fact my sister and I would laugh at how silly he acted.) Needless to say, I've been around alcohol my entire life.
I didn't drink much l before I turned 21. A couple times a year I'd drink with my mom at the bar (here in Wisconsin a minor can drink in the bar with a parent.) At 19 I got a job as a bartender. By the time I turned 21, most of my closest friends were regulars at the bar. I'd close up if it was slow and we'd go barhopping. I started getting drunk to the point of black out when I was 22. I never drank 2 days in a row, mainly because I was usually nursing a hangover the next day. I never drove drunk, I always walked home.
I've quit drinking a few times in the last year, but usually didn't make it past day 15 before drinking myself silly. The longest I went was last month for 23 days.
My last quit almost seemed more of a necessity than an actual desire to quit because I suddenly had so much anxiety and panic when in public (even working was an incredible difficulty and I almost quit my job a few times over it.) I'm learning how to deal with it now.
Yesterday I drank for about 12 hours and now I'm starting over at Day One. I usually feel pretty hopeless on day one, but not so much this time after reading some of what others posted here!
Anyway, I needed to vent this. Sorry it was kind of long! It's nice to read what you all write, I don't feel so alone anymore!