Thank you all for your responses. I know that I cannot subject my daughter and myself to that life. I am going through a lot of hurt and anguish as reality smacks me in the face. Finding out everything that you have known has been a lie is very painful. I know that it is not my fault that I have been lied to and misled but I'm having a hard time not feeling guilty about putting my daughter through this. Letting her become attached to someone that has such a problem. I know that we will get through this.
Please, please be gentle with yourself. You've done nothing irrevocable. Give yourself credit for asking for help and guidance -- for many of us this is the hardest step of all. It would be wonderful if we could realize something, snap our fingers and, voila!, change permanently but it's a process. Most of all realize that you deserve a terrific relationship with a healthy person, make that a goal.