am77,
Welcome to SR! It's a great place!
Of course, the circumstances of you being here are unfortunate.
I know how hard it is when you love someone and the Alcohol takes them away from you. I am Married to and A. I am in the military and have a 5 year old daughter and 2 year old son. I can say that if he willingly submits to treatment the military will help him. Treatment for addictions and anxiety and depression have improved greatly in the last few years. I've been in for 11 years and guided many of my Marines to and through treatment. Many have continued their careers and some have not. I would advise you to not move there until you see something concrete. You have caught him multiple times and who knows how many you haven't caught. I know what it's like to turn into the "Detective". After the hurtful lies, it's hard to believe them. It's a crazy disease. My wife is in Rehab right now. I wish that I could say certain things to my wife whom I love and care about more than anything in the world and then some other things to the very disease that controls her.
Please message me if you would like more information about some of the ways he can get help. militaryonesource.mil is a great start. I hope things get better for you. Just remember, you child's voice in this situation is yours. Think about moving there very hard. Military wife can be great, but it can also be very difficult. Stay strong and God Bless.