Welcome nel, you can do it, but you don't have to alone... seeing a doctor is a really good idea.
Thank you for the reminder and I really mean thank you. Today has been rough for me, the 'battle of the voice' is doing it's best to get me drinking again. Your post has allowed me to sit back, take a deep breath and remember why I got sober in the first place and that's where I need to stay. It does get better, but you need to be in it for the long haul mentally. "To thine own self be true", You know you cannot keep doing this, the 'illusion' of just having a few drinks is just that and there is only so much a person can take. I knew I had to quit 100% or I would be dead in a short time, most likely by my own hands due to that horrid anxiety (which will get MUCH BETTER, I assure you.) My bad days (at three months) are nothing like what you are going through right now. Stick with it, fill the drinking time-slot with something you enjoy, keep coming here or go to face to face group meetings in your area.
Best wishes.