am77

My fiance and I dated 11 years ago, at which time he was an alcoholic, after a year he disappeared. 3 years later he came back, told me he had been to rehab, missed me and wanted to be with me. A month later he disappeared again. Last November, after almost 7 years of him being out of my life, he found me. His drinking got so bad after the last time he left that he was in the hospital on his death bed. He got sober and joined the military. He had been sober since and his career was excelling. When he first came back I told him that it would never work for us, in spite of the fact that I still had feelings for him. He was 800 miles away, going through a divorce and in the military. I was a working single mom who couldnt imagine leaving her hometown to become a military wife. He never gave up on me. We both realized that we still cared deeply for one another and wanted to be a part of each others lives. He has taken leave and visited frequently and we skype almost everyday. My very young daughter has become extremely attached and even calls him "Daddy." (Her birth father hasn't been around in over a year due to his own substance abuse problems). We have made plans to get married in February and my daughter and I are to relocate to be with him in March. All the while under the impression that he is sober. During his last leave (4 months ago) I found several empty liquor bottles and confronted him. He admitted that he had been drinking again, hated it and wanted to stop. He suffers from extreme anxiety and will not let the military know for fear of demotion or dismissal. He made a mistake of marrying too soon and was miserable within the first month. These factors led him back to drinking. He came home for the holidays and I found more bottles in his suitcase and confronted him again. Come to find out he has been drinking the entire time he has been back in my life and lying to my face about it. Alcoholics are fantastic liars. There was one bottle that was almost full and he said that we would keep it out so I could see how much he was drinking. It was a start. Then yesterday, after he left to go back to his duty station, I found several more empty bottles in my outside trash. I confronted him, once again, and he admitted that he had drank those since our confrontation the other night. Needless to say I am beyond hurt. He hates drinking, I can see the disgust and pain in his face when he talks about it. He is fully aware of what it is doing to his body and what he will lose if this path continues again. He has promised to do whatever he has to do to quit because he does not want to lose me and my daughter. He is so good to us and treats us both better than we could ever imagine. We are best friends. I am torn and at a crossroads. I know that no amount of love or support can help someone if they don't want to help themselves. My daughter and I are suppose to move in 3 months. I don't know what to do. I have cried countless tears since yesterday and prayed as hard as I can. Any advice or words of wisdom will be appreciated.