Originally Posted by
dorito281211 
Cause I love alcohol and what it does for me, how it makes me feel. If it wernt for my wife and responsibilities as a dad, my weekends would be spent drunk constantly. I love that feeling . . . Cares are no more, stress is gone, I am not mean, and other than hurting my health, all was well.
Boy howdy, do I see myself in those words. Unfortunately, being single with no kids has allowed me to do just what you said you would do if you didn't have the family responsibilities. I wish I had a dollar for every God-awful multi-day hangover I've survived.
And then this summer I am ashamed to say that I came in to work (a good job in a DoD agency) after going on a bender and apparently passed out at my desk. I got another job in my field closer to home and missed work last week, without calling in, because I went on another bender. Nice, huh? And yet in spite of all that, I think some small part of me still wondered and hoped I could drink in a limited way. I never thought what I was doing was okay, but not wanting to have a drinking problem is not the same thing as finally being able to acknowledge that you can't do it.
Last week I deluded myself that I was being "safer" drinking wine than vodka. Ha. I feel like I am finally close to knowing in my heart of hearts, that I truly cannot drink ever. My drinking history is disgusting. I do not want to doom myself to repeating it.