Hi Lowlow and welcome! I totally understand how u feel. For me it's always been the mental part. Like Mark Twain once said 'Ive quit cigarettes a thousand times but the hard part is staying quit.' He had a point but the thing is the times that you were clean still count for something. You've lead a normal life whether it been for 2 months at a time a few weeks or even a few days the point is you have a good start and that clean titme just doesn't disappear. Try not to be hard on yourself and say 'I can never stay clean' try to acknowledge that what you are trying to do is very hard and credit yourself for having that clean time. It's really all about perspective and how you view things. Don't get me wrong perspective is not going to magically erase the pain of withdrawal but you will go into with a strong attitude.
For me it's been two weeks clean and honestly it feels like the longest two weeks of my life. I still hurt mentally and physically but every day it gets better and starting the New Year with a clean slate is priceless. Time will heal all things if we let it and congrats on the baby!
