I still don't think I am ready to give up hope but I am thinking it is holding me back and am looking to make some changes this year.
So here is my question-do I engage him in an honest conversation about where we stand and what he thinks will happen to us in the future?
If he's still drinking you don't have a relationship. His higher power and the great love of his life is booze. Does he care so much he's willing to stop drinking? This is a very tough question to ask but it was necessary for me to break the denial.
One of the hardest things in life is leaving a long-term relationship, in this case marriage. I can't imagine anyone who isn't intimidated by walking away into the unknowable future. It's a good idea to go easy on yourself, this is a process and give yourself credit for making enormous progress.