Soberah,
Take alcohol out of the mix, I mean really try, get and follow a program. I know you find this hard to believe but it is the alcohol that is making you feel bad. I don't know what turned the corner for me but I am so glad it happened and I see clearly that life with alcohol is no life for me.
You can do it, there is a good and happy life out there for you. Let 2012 be the year that your life turned around.
CaiHong