BUT I am.
I really wish I could be a part of some sort of festivities but then at the same time not. I just wish this evening didn't mean so much but here we are. All it meant to me in the past was another reason to get blasted drunk.
I feel a great sadness and loss. Does that make any sense?
I can tell my husband is happy to be home. Probably happy not to be out with me wondering what embarrassing amount of alcohol I would drink or what I would do. Can't blame the poor guy.
So now what? In the future what do we do on NYE? I don't want to be depressed. I know I am, all the signs are here. Didn't shower, sitting in my room, general sadness, hearing all the fireworks is killing me. I just want this night to be over.
A few tears and some food for me tonight. Yes I'm not having a NYE Party I'm having a NYE Pitty Party.
I do sincerely hope everyone has a great 2012 though. Just want this night to be over.