TheOjibway84

Oh for sure! Hey Im not saying you aren't trying. Just trying to give advice as best as I can. I am afterall only 4 months sober myself. But I didn;t see a way out as well. But then I managed and here I am today going one day at a time. Sorry if I sounded harsh by saying stop making excuses. I was just trying to get you to know those things will be hard to deal with but its better then beating yourself for picking up again. I've tried so many times myself to stay sober for 3 years now and I know for sure it's hard. I won't lie I've had those stupid thoughts in my head lately about drinking and I was given 25 bucks from my grandma and went Christmas shopping with a gift card and on the way there I was going by my old drinking places and the thought came into my head "You have 25 bucks! 2 pints won't harm, no one will know." And honestly I shook my head and said NO mentally within and kept on going to my real destination and I managed not to go into the bars! But when that tiny thought came through my head the excitement built up within me, my alcoholic side really wanted me to drink and drop everything and not care and then my sober newly obtained knowledge and feelings took over and refused and i went with it this time unlike before where I'd listen to the alcoholic mentality trying to get me to go. All the images of this past summer flew in front of me to remind me what exactly will happen if I pick up. So I didn't. And no worries everyone... I told my sponsor this right away as soon as I got home. If we can do it YOU can too! have faith! Do anything possible. Prayers to you! Your a good person just in a dark time but eventually you'll dig yourself out but again... patience! Get to all resources mentioned to you, treatment may be a good idea! Wish you luck! You can do it!