Welcome Lisa!
So what's your plan?
As you said "I have no idea if I am strong enough to expel the demon from my life." That sounds to me like you don't think you can do this alone. No big deal, I think most of us eventually find that we need help, other than just ourselves. For me, SR and AA are two things that keep me going but there are other options. Stick around SR and keep reading, that's a good start.