Hi jwl3kl,
I am brand new here and have been reading through so many posts that are so inspiring and helpful. I know your confusion and pain. After almost 7 years of dealing with my addict BF, I had to ask him to leave the home we share. Initially we still had contact, although definitely not healthy communication all the time...I am sick, too. I did not wish to completely discard him from my life. And then I find out that in a few weeks time he is already talking to another female in the program. What a slap in the face. I am not implying that your wife is doing the same, I can just sympathize with all of the sudden being cut off. Although, mine still insists he "loves" me and all the other nonsense. I guess my point, is I have found that what they say and what they are actually doing are 2 different things. I need to get well myself and that is that. I sympathize and hope you make it to an Al Anon meeting. I have gone and I am already feeling better, although I know it is a work in progress. Good luck to you.
Suzanne