strengthtobeone

Hi All, I just wanted to update this thread to show others what NOT to do. Posterchild right here!!!!! So this was back in May that RAB had dumped me (for the 2nd time). Fast forward to July... I moved to Alaska with my kids and my dog, he came up here with us, was supposed to stay the summer, but left after 1 day. 1 DAY! Broke my heart, left me out to dry, left me wondering what was wrong with me, but I was in a new exciting place with lots of new friends and Alaska in the summer - Come on, it was great!. At that point, I told him we didn't have anything to talk about anymore and not to contact me. 2 weeks later, he called, asking me to take him back, he made a huge mistake, he wanted to be with us, he loved us, and in his words, "wanted to work through things when they got rough"...

Well, I am sure some of you can imagine how this ended. Now it is 6 months later. He came, he saw, he conquered... and left! I am totally blown away by all this. He is one sick man, and good lord I took him back again and again and again and again. He is a trust-funder RA, has never had a job, is always "helping" people....I can't believe I let him back in to make my life a complete train wreck.

Long story a little shorter, we had decided to go back to the lower 48 together. We were doing what was best for everyone, there's no recovery here, we already have a support network back in our old community, he owned a home. He invited us to live there. We could just fall back into what we had going there, which was overall good. I thought everything was okay, fine. He was starting to dry drunk and blame for a bunch of stuff, but I figured it was dark and we are isolated and there's no meetings here, and we always get sick when we don't go to meetings. We had decided to go back, things would get better fast.

The next day he made HIS plane ticket and said he didn't care how we got back.

Hmmmmm. I had a real problem with that. Red flags! He was still saying that we could live at his house. But then he changed his mind. JUST LIKE THAT. He decided that he wasn't happy int the relationship and that we weren't welcome at his home.

I had quit my job, informed the children's school, and was amaking arrangements to go back.

WTF is that.

Any talking to him at that point was me just trying to make him feel bad, and it was over so talking with him about the relationship was futile.

Folks, I am looking hard for my part here and the only thing I did wrong was TO LET HIM BACK IN. My kids are resilient but they are really sad about all this. He totally ABANDONED us!! I simply can not believe it.

Everything he said was a lie. I told him that and he said that he never made any guarantees that it would work out.

Am I as crazy as he says I am???

Rock Bottom all over for me. It's been two weeks since I MADE him leave. He was planning on just staying in the house for a few extra days until his flight left. I told him to get out.

I told him I didn't want to talk to him. I gave him someone else's phone number to call if there were any issues with "stuff". He contacted me on Christmas to say "merry xmas" and just now to ask what I wanted done with my stuff that is at his house. I HATE HIM!!!!!

What do I do?

Now I am in Alaska, and I don't much care for the dark. This community is really sweet, but I quit my job and had decided to go back to my old town. Now that is where my AXH and now my RAXB live and I do no contact with both. I feel so f****ed up and crazy! I can get my old job back in that town, but right now I am considering moving back in with my parent in the deep south where I don't like it much, but I sure have made a mess of my life everywhere I go!!!!!!!! I just want to take care of my kids....