Thanks for your post Fandy.
I know it's a little much to hand over that "power" to the boyfriend - but I do think it might help a bit. Especially in keeping me from buying the booze.
And you are definitely correct on that one - alcohol just makes the depression/anxiety worse. I just realize this not too long ago. I always thought that it was because of other things in my life - but when I step back and really think about it, I am lucky to have what I have...loving people around me and such.
The only problem in this entire equation is the booze.
Mr. Booze is the one that starts the fights, the emotional breakdowns, the laziness and feelings of hopelessness.
I had a sober day yesterday...one in a long time. Even though I didn't get up to too much, played Solitaire and watching a cooking show marathon....at least I wasn't passed out, miserable, contemplating ridiculous things, not being able to make dinner and feeling lousy all around.
It felt pretty good.
Today I have a bit of anxiety...but it's not too bad.