Yes, you read it right...
One year later, he has now lost his job, due to being drunk and having
no memory past 2 minutes, according to his employers & brother now..
(With a cat's meow and a roll of my eyes', DUH! I told you so...)
He lives with his brother 1800 miles from me.
His brother called to tell me that the xah wants to come
here and go back into rehab (Yes, here in my town) OMG!!!
But his family is pushing for him to move home with his parents
which is only 8 hours from me. (Nice idea but too close for comfort)
*But I think this: I believe he knows what he is doing, trying to pull
the wool over everyones eyes. His plan is to get his family to pay for
him a trip home and a nice visit back at rehab with all of his ol corona buddies!
Instead of saying "I hate my job, Im homesick"..He's using it as an excuse!
No job, means I have the entire house payment on my shoulder
He is court ordered to pay some of it, until it sells. It's a HUGE
house payment. Plus, I just kicked out the roomate, due to drinking.
I applied the rules and set my boundaries. I swore, I would never
ever live with another drunk again. I put the hammer down and she
is moving out. Bad timing to say the least, but Im excited to have
peace again in my home.
Dont know what Im going to do financially...Panic, Fear has set in
Distance:
More Panic & Fear
Emotions:
Sad to know that he is getting worse
I want to love him as a human being, but my anger holds me back
Somedays I dream of him becoming normal
I get scared, thinking of the haunting memories of what he was like
when he was drunk
I miss the sober husband I once had
I get anxious to begin a new life
I get depressed thinking of what could of been
I get fear, thinking about the bills
A few weeks ago, I had to deal with grief. Dont know if it's all gone yet
but it feels better than it did then.
Quess, all thru the emotions & dang hormonal feelings, about the only
thing I can think of left is,,,lonely...Havent got there yet
Today:
I am stronger
I know I will NEVER go back
I know I will NEVER tolerate a drunk person to raise their voice to me
I know I will NEVER live with another alcoholic ever again
I am still learning, but proud of myself for fighting the fight to keep going
I felt very sorry for myself this morning and said to myself, "that's okay"
Tomorrow:
I will continue with my recovery program for today I am very fragile
and weak
I will meet with the finance manager hoping they can help me figure
out something to do with this house
I will get creative on new business adventures
I will THANK GOD for Alanon and all of my friends here, who understand's
this crazy assride..
Hoping for a good night's sleep, so thing's look brighter for me tomorrow..
Awww....Sleep...It's an amazing thing
