Another year, another promise....
Ladies & gentlemen, I am in need of some serious advice. I cannot believe that I am entering yet another year with my alcoholic husband. I don't want to bore you all with the multiple reasons that I have stayed or the same amount of reasons I have continued to believe that he will want to get better. It is going on 28 years now. What have I done? How have I allowed myself to be, not only an enabler, but codependent as well.
I am not naive. I have known that my husband is an alcoholic for YEARS now. Always holding onto that dream that he will cowboy up and admit himself into a rehab program. This mistress of his is a seductive b*tch. Constantly whispering sweet nothings in his ear, holding him tightly to her wretched bosom. I can't compete with this liquid lover of his and I am exhausted from always trying.
Big slap in the face happened over the Christmas weekend. Both our children were home (both are over 21). My son was home from the USAF and my daughter has been living with us while her fiance is deployed. My children were upfront and honest about their dad. My daughter doesn't want to introduce her father to her fiance's parents because of his drinking. My son avoids coming home because of his father's drinking. The only reason they are around as much as they are is because they love and respect me. Is this what I am going to subject our grandchildren to?
So here is where your advice comes in. How do I leave? There is no reason for me to stay, so therefore that is NOT an option. We are past that. Guilt has stopped me uber millions of times before from leaving. How do I go? How do I pack my bags, brush off the dirt from this crummy existence and leave?