i just had the courage to come back on here after that post i did a while back.. i was sober for 3 and a half months that time and after that i thought i could do it on my own even after many people in AA and outpatient thought that wasnt a good idea.. that i wastn ready and that i couldnt do it on my own.... fast forward to dec and i found myself right back where i started from.. how they were so right about how i wasnt ready. i guess i fooled myself into thinking that it would be easy..but i finally see that i have to really want this not just for the time being but forever. so as of dec 26 i am starting over.. this time around i know more about my addiction and know more than ever that i have to try harder and do everything that i need to in order to stay sober. no lies no excuses .. currently im on my 2nd day without drinking and its been a long road and will be ahead of me.. ive lost the people that believed in me back then but ive also gained alot of strength in knowing i am still not alone and im not a lost case..ill post more of my progress soon