My Story
Hey everyone, I'm John and a 24 year old alcoholic.
I started drinking when I was about 15 and it became serious by the age of about 21. For the most part I've drank at least a bottle of wine, sometimes 2, every night for as long as I can remember. Larger too, pretty much everything. I have bad anxiety and use alcohol to self medicate. I can't leave the house without being "on" something - be it tranquilizers or booze or both.
The last 2 years have been the worst. After a year of being alone and isolated at home due to crippling anxiety, I finally saw a psychiatrist who would prescribe me tranqualizers. They worked like magic and I was able to go out and party with my friends again.
At this point I took things too far, excited with my newfound freedom, I went on massive booze, drug benders with my mates. I cracked my head open. Things got even worse when my mum got sectioned last Christmas. The memories are very disturbing. Drinking got worse.
Was rude to people for no reason, got arrested, got beaten up, random drunken fights with friends. I went to hospital to detox but the moment I left I went straight to the pub. Went to hospital again, relapsed again. I'm ashamed of myself, have almost zero confidence. Alcohol has taken away my self esteem. I really don't know what to do. Here in England alcohol is everywhere, everything revolves around it. New Years coming up but not going out because I don't want to drink. I'm here for help and support if anyone can offer it. I also would like to speak with people with similar problems and will help out in any way I can. I'm not asking for sympathy and I feel like a total *****. I want to stop because I am worried about my health and my family are worried about me.
This really is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. I've been addicted to weed, coke and used to take exctasy every weekend but managed to quit all those. Alcohol is just so hard to give up. Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to share my story.