Dear Keepgoing,
Welcome to the SR family, so glad you found this site, I am so sorry about all you are going through.
My mom and dad winter in Florida, the last two winters my mom has been in the ICU with heart problems directly related to her 40+ years as an alocholic.
I used to let it make me crazy, I was sad, then mad, then I developed such a deep seated hatred of her for the pain she has caused that I made myself sick.
Now I just let her live with her decisions, I let my dad know I will be there for him if he needs to talk, but I don't call or visit my mom in the hospital, I don't even send a card.
My mother made this bed a long time ago, she has refused all attempts at help, she has called her doctors quacks when they tell her that drinking 3-6 bottles of wine a day is killing her.
Stick to your guns, do what is best for YOU! Don't let others bully you into erasing your boundaries.
If you need a friend who has been through it, I will be there for you, if you want to talk or vent or need a hug just let me know.
You can send a private message and/or friend request.
Best of luck to you,
Big hugs,
Bill