Hi ScaryStuff! As other have said, keep calm and carry on. You're in a rough patch right now but it won't last forever, and once it's passed you will feel amazing for not drinking. It might be a good night to crawl in bed early with a book you like, or make some special food you like to eat. Try to do something nice for yourself instead of being self-destructive.
I would drink at home too and hardly ever went out to the bars. Early on, it was like my home was filled with landmines. Everything seemed to make me want to drink! I've found though, that once I've "tripped" one of those landmines I am prepared for it the next time. Eyes on the prize!! :ghug3