Hi scarystuff
I thought recovrry would be linear too - the further away I got away from a drink the less I'd be tempted - but of course that wasn't true and it's why we need places like SR.
Drinking was the centre of my life for 20 years - it took me some time to turn that around...it took me some time and effort to become the sober person I wanted to be, but like others have said it was worth it.
Stick with it - things will get better if you keep working on your recovery even if it's not as fast as we'd like sometimes
Are you using any support besides us?
D