I have been reading through some other posts and it is horribly clear to me that I am a "classic" case that you have all seen a million times. My mind is made up, I no longer want to contine, but as one of you above said... my anxiety and alcoholic brain is already telling me I can't do it. I can. I will. But I may post some weird things in the process. Thank you all for your thoughts and hospitality.