i think it's normal to have anxiety about quitting if you have a problem. if you could truly take it or leave it with something, going without would be no big deal. part of addiction, for me, has been preoccupation and obsession.
reading "the easy way to quit smoking" gave me some insight into picking "the right time" to quit something. it was pointed out that there will never be a stress free time - a "right time." we'll be faced with stress in greater amounts at some point or another, but it is always there. often when i think of an ideal time to quit using, i am just avoiding making the commitment to quit. this is especially true with smoking!
i don't know how you will find ways to enjoy what you enjoy without alcohol. but you will. maybe you will be surprised that without focusing on having alcohol, you can enjoy those moments in new ways. i am still learning how to enjoy life without alcohol, but being around my family this christmas without it was truly more enjoyable for me than any other year. i was totally present in ways i couldn't be while drinking.
i don't know why you have the nagging sensation that you are an alcoholic. perhaps you should listen to it if it persists. in my experience, i have been able to cut back and use "responsibly" for months at a time. and then something bad would happen, or i'd have too much fun, or i'd just realize how miserable i was always expending all this effort to control my consumption of something that i didn't want to have to control at all.
good luck in finding the clarity you need and the strength to move forward with your decisions.