I too don't like what I have become as a drinker or the tendency to drink drink drink once I have that first drink. I am thinking it through as best I can and trying to stay in the moment in choosing not to drink - I have the desire to not drink - I alsi am fighting the desire to relax and drink - alone - on a Tuesday - never mind the NYE; we're talking today and my own problem with it all on my own. A tuesday drinker, and too much, now that's a red flag. I have a few weeks in at the time but have been feeling uncertain I'd KEEP IT up...so I got on here.
I think in the end it's our inside telling us we don't like how we drink or what we become like when we do.
But if I am white knuckling to get to the hour that the store closes so I can breathe a sigh of relief, I am not living in recovery, but just sober, well, it's a start, but I need to go further. I was thinking I should try to read a while in the Big book of AA.
Anyway I am glad I logged in and going to read further. I don't know what else I am going to do, maybe call a friend.
