I don't know what to say or how to say it...
So here we go. I'm an alcoholic, I have no control once I start but hoping I can get some insight into what I am feeling... I don't drink like some that I have read about but I drink enough that I am uncomfortable with who I have become. So here I start with a couple of questions....
(1) Is it normal for me to have this MAD anxiety about quitting? Like maybe now is not the time? (Especially considering this weekend is New Year's and I will be SURROUNDED by alcohol).
(2) How will I enjoy all that I enjoy without have a couple beers at the end of the day... or while fishing... or camping... or even just sitting and watching the kids play late into the night?
(3) I have quit before and I have been able to drink one or two... I can quit and only drink on weekends, I rarely drink enough to have an actual hangover... Why do I still have a nagging sensation that I am an alcoholic?
This is day one... I have been lurking around this sight for a couple of months and have great success in not drinking, but I find myself convincing me... that I can have a couple with the friends as to not be "weird". I'm off on a roll here... Help?