Daniel,
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a remarkable person. You achieved two years of sobriety andf lent your support to two suffering alcoholics. That speaks of great compassion and strength. You relapsed, yet didn't give up. That speaks of great tenacity. You reached out for support and demonstrated courage and honesty. You haven't let anyone down. You are just human with an incurable illness. Congratulate yourself on NOT giving up and lending your support to others.