Originally Posted by
wicked 
dishonorable discharge? then how did he get a pension?
{ETA I see it was severance pay (for a few months in a hotel)}
If you decide to see him for breakfast, ask him what HE plans to do about HIS alcohol addiction. It all belongs to him, and it is up to him to find a rehab or a detox to help him get sober. Getting sober is only the first step in a process of growth for him.
Learn what you can about codependency, read Mellody Beatties books.
Try to find an alanon meeting nearby, face to face help is so wonderful.
While he searches for the end of his misery, you can learn to live a better life just for you.
Beth
He is 39, has had many many chances to get sober and learn about recovery, but has yet to grasp the ability to STAY STOPPED.
Well it s not servence pay. Is more a part of the pension, he paid in. U can decide if to cary it on to another employer or u get it paid out. Some of it goes in a closed RRSP manitory and others he can access right away.
Otherwise I know he has to do it on his own. Don't get me wrong, maybe i wrote it wrong, when i said how to i get him into...I know the last Detox he did all on his own as well. I don't do it for him, but now an there I help with a few things, like when he can't find the right information on the internet etc. He is abit computer dumn. lol
I try hard to ready lots, I go to the meetings etc. I think thats not what i meant. Sure I care about him and I was just wondering, what I maybe not to tell him, maybe what I should replay. I'm pretty sure, he is gonna say something like, I need help, I gonna call etc. And sure if he is at that point, i support him.
I know he had lots of chances. But just because he did, does it mean he doesn't deserve a new one. Yes he does, and I usually try to see every attempt to get help serious. Who I am to deciede, if he means it this time.
I was with my question more wondering, would it be easier for him to go to a reahb, or is AA enough for him. Especially after i set my boundary, that no AA no home.
And when my BF talk we talk quit open about his drinking and what to do best and next. Thats why I asked.
I thought, for me personally, I rather would have him in rehab, that i for mysellf, can start work on myself while he is gone and can even decide, if i want to life with an RABF. Because the last time he got sober, the whole month, was worse then, when he was drunk. with all the mood swings etc. And thats really tough. oh well. thanks