I spent 33 years doing that until I finally had enuf. For me it was letting him know that I would be moving if he didn't get help. I was prepared to do it. I left for a week during which I left him alone with his addiction and came back to let him know I was prepared to leave unless/until he was sober. My health, my emotions, my very life depended on my getting away from his alcohol. I was fortunate in that he was willing to get that help. I stand by my willingness to leave to this day. I can no longer live the life he was chasing. He has been sober for 6 weeks.
I lean on the posts here for a lot of support. I meditate and examine myself anytime my depression starts poking me. I have a hope for a future with him for the first time in 20 years. That time has been lost by my unwillingness to see or set boundaries. I put up with the drinking until I lost myself in a morass of depression and co-dependency. I have no idea where I finally came up with the ability to say enuf. I wish we had found sobriety many years ago, but that time is passed and I only have the future.
I hope you find your answers before 30 years of regret find you. Hugs!