Arlie - I'm guessing that many of these responses are just as overwhelming as your drinking is to you. I'm also fairly new, and started out on this forum unsure as to whether i was an alcoholic or not. Reading / posting has helped me tremendously think through it, albeit some times i am put off by seemingly hard love, or people stating the obvious - (e.g. drinking and driving kills). It has taken me about 4 weeks to firmly acknowledge I'm an alcoholic - and by acknowledge, i mean convince me, not anybody else. Funny enough, everybody reading my posts knew / knows I am, they were likely just waiting for me to come around. The other part, which is very hard to rationalize to start, but really is true, is the label just doesn't matter. Calling or not calling yourself an alcoholic does not change the fact that alcohol is scaring you, alcohol has entered your driving repertoire, and if given odds of parenting success - with or without alcohol, I think any normal, sober or active alcoholic would say being sober and clean has the highest odds of success. If you think of it that way - then frankly, let's assume you are not an alcoholic, but alcohol makes you do things that you want to avoid for nobody else but your child.
AA's big book has a special set of sections for spouses: the alcoholics reaction to the spouse, the spouses reaction to the alcoholic, etc. I for one feel like i have no choice but to share with my wife, and make her an active part of my recovery. Maybe it's because we have been together for 18 years, maybe it's because aside from my kids, there is nobody more dear to me, and maybe it's because i entered into a life contract with her that requires us to face each other in sickness and in health. What i found is that although my wife doesn't want to acknowledge my alcoholism for obvious reasons, she can't deny it either. She, much to my surprise (surprise will dawn on you as sarcasm at some point during your recovery) has been well aware of my excessive drinking, and did many things to keep me safe. But if she had her choice - she would prefer i didn't subject my body, family or community to my drinking weakness. I'd bet your husband feels the same, is well aware of your alcohol abuses, and if given the potential of helping you, will stand beside you in ways that you can't imagine as of yet.
Powerlessness over alcohol is not a simple saying (or a corny one at that). It is the inability to stop when you want to. You try to exert your power to stop over it and fail. It doesn't mean you fail every time, it doesn't mean you fail most of the time. The simple act of failure (once) gets you there, and it only gets worse as you continue to feed into its power (i.e. continued drinking). Acceptance of this notion of powerlessness gets you past the convincing part - if i limit myself to one drink i should be fine, if i only drink on Saturday's I'll be fine, if I limit my drinking to inside the house and not drive i'll be fine. That logic presumes the chance that you can win the fight. Acceptance of powerlessness acknowledges you can't. If you are really struggling with labeling yourself, it will take you some time to get this concept - it has taken me 4 weeks.
Reading posts on this forum will help you tremendously. Especially because many have walked your path. My caution to you, don't worry so much about taking what people advise you to do as an absolute, because that will only turn you off if you are not ready to hear it. In time you will find that most of the counsel on this forum is grounded in experience, and a pure desire to help you help them (this makes sense to the AA'ers). But like them, you will need your own experiences and realizations.
I will leave you with a challenge to understand this line: "Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink." When that line no longer screams sarcasm to you, and is recognized as a somber warning, you may start to understand where the support in everybody's posts is derived.