I thought when my long-time friend and ex-coworker finished his outpatient rehab, that everything would go back to the way it was; he'd come back to work, we'd resume our friendship, etc. Instead, he was asked to resign, and he has gone back and forth between wanting to stay in touch and telling me not to contact him anymore, which is our current status.
Being shut out by a friend hurts so I can only imagine how hard this is for you, jwl, because it's your wife. You are in the right place here at SR, please keep reading and posting, there is much wisdom here for you.