I've been sober for 20 years and remember how hard it was getting sober. My emotions fluctuated wildly (described it as "24/hour PMS in a full moon), I was very depressed. I was also crazy -- this is what happens when you withdraw from alcohol. It takes a long time for an alcoholic to feel comfortable in his/her skin and you have to be very motivated and work hard to get through the first six months. It's so easy to fantasize about what a newly sober person is like, a jolt when the person is still a mess. Add to this that it takes many people multiple attempts.
I'm also a codie. Al-anon can be a lifesaver, it was for me. The focus must shift to you and your children, taking action to have a healthy home.