I have not had my son arrested, but like you, I have played with the idea. But my program tells me not to create a crisis or take control by making things happen and allowing circumstances to occur as they will. I don't always follow that advice.....and I usually look back in hindsight and see my own missteps. I do find that things seem to happen best when I keep my attention on that which is within my own hoolahoop.
I am in a constant process of letting go and letting God (because I still misstep after a very long time in my own recovery program). Progress....not perfection.
gentle hugs
ke