Read my signature... I live by that line..
If it were easy, we wouldn't all be here to support each other, we'd just quit.
Keep focused on the big picture, BUT, for today, worry about today. You can't rip the alcohol out of your blood that you drank up last night, so, why beat yourself up over it? All you can do is say, "I screwed up. Time to start again, this time, I'll do better." You sound like you knew what you were doing was bad from the start. So this time around, work on that first sip.. why can't you have that first sip, what follows it, and why would you give up how every many days of previous sobriety for one night? It's kind of like cheating on yourself after days/weeks/years of happy marriage. Why would you cheat on yourself after such a happy life you've had for so long.
Stay strong! Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
