I am going through a very similar experience. My A bf has been in rehab for 21 days, and because of the holidays is going to be released this weekend, in time to spend the holidays with me...was the pretense. But then his counselor and AA friends thought it would be best if he focuses 110 percent on himself. He joked at first about the fact that he needed to stay at an AA's house for the next 6 months, just to make sure he stays clean. Then I realized with shock that he is serious about taking a break from our relationship and living together, to get his life back on track. He told me to think of it as if he was a soldier, going off to war. He asked me if I could wait for him to figure himself out. Without being in contact for the next 6 months though. I'm at a loss as how to cope with having someone I love, choose to stay sober and start a new life without wanting me to be part of it.
If you are like me, you really want to see your S/O sober and healthy. But you may have thought that you were part of their life and would be part of the recovery? I think when others keep telling us that an alcoholic is a self centered disease, and being sober doesn't change that part of their thinking, we need to listen.
I know that this is as hard for me to face as facing their drunken episodes in ways, because it feels the same. Either way it seems we are losing them.
One way...drinking will eventually kill them though. (In my situation, my bf was very close to death with the last relapse)
And this way...with them walking away to find the real "me" behavior, they are still alive, just choosing to see if they would be better off without us in their lives.
I know it hurts terribly. The sudden feeling of being abandoned after years of being there for them and now having them choose to have new friends and not wanting us, hurts.
In your case of being asked to move out...has to be even worse than how I feel right now.
I'm looking to get into alanon, and using this site to help me keep my own self from falling apart.
My best wishes to you in your struggles. God bless.
Penny's