I have officially hit bottom with him now. As I type I feel horrible, just gotta get through tonight. (I want to drink so I can sleep.) The old "me" would have never drank to sleep. I have learned so many disgusting habits from him. Tonight he choked me for about 10 seconds and pushed me back against the window, in the car. saying ' if you ever touch me again you f***in bitch i will f***-in kill you." Now get the hell out of here.
At the time we were sitting in my car waiting to go into his work christmas party. He just continued to yell while I told him how upset I was that I didn't get invited out for a drink after work (again) I get left out a lot lately. I just wanted him to know it hurt my feelings, when I finally got caught with them, they left the bar as I was pulling in, and he couldn't understand why I would feel hurt about that. (I was all dressed up for the xmas party right after, was on my way, and after he hesitated to invite me and told me to just meet him later at the party, he said he felt "bad" so decided to invite me. I just ended up feeling-well, stupid I guess. ) When I met him at the party we argued in the car, and he choked me, I lost some skin, but he didn't make me gasp, just squeezed really hard for a while. BUT it didn't scare me. OH NO! MISS CODEPENDENT wanted to go talk to him, and make it right. haha!Can you believe that???? SO stupid. LUCKILY I never found him. Came home. Called my mom, Boohooed to her. She made me promise to not see him ever again. I have to keep that promise now. I cannot cave again. I should not have slapped him, but I felt so crazy and out of control. I just wanted him to hear me. NOW I get to remember his last words to me... They will echo in my head whenever I think I might miss him.
