Hi Roandlan,
You're not so different from the rest of us, especially when we first gave up drugs. You're just used to hugging onto something that is slowly eating away at you emotionally and physically. I think you've made a brave decision to come here with the intent of letting it all hang out so that you can be healthy again. That's what we do here.
It sounds like you've accomplished a lot in your life. None of that will help you now. You're going to have to explore new territory and learn what it is that has made your drinking progress. And then you'll have to learn a lot of behavior modification strategies to keep you from drinking irresponsibly or not at all if that's what you choose.
We hope we can help you with all of this. Everyone has different strategies so it's good not to compare your progress with everyone else's. Just getting through each day using whichever tools you develop is pretty much the way we try to do it. There's websites for Alcoholics Anonymous, Recovery Resource Center, Life Ring Secular, Moderation Management, SMART Recovery, Women for Sobriety, SOS, and others which provide a lot of help.
Let us know what we can do to help.
Sandy