Wow. I clicked on this category by mistake and this thread caught my eye. I too found it easier to forgive my alcoholic father. We too lived in a home where my father's alcoholism known since I was practically born. I have many memories of him going to rehabs, AA, having AA people at our house doing 12th step work.
My mother has always been the hard one for me to get my thoughts around. When I was about 12 or 13, I passed her up emotionally. I stopped calling her "mom" because she interpreted that as us having this tight relationship, so for many years I did not call her anything. That made for some thorny situations when she was doing something and I needed to get her attention. When I got to be an adult I only called her by her first name. She hated that, and her friends would tell me that I should not call her by her first name. So sometimes I would call her "Mother." Not only did she not protect me from my father's alcoholism, she never bonded with me. When I was about 5 years old she took me downtown to have my picture taken by a professional photographer (probably only because her sister told her to). Then she made a point of telling me that the photographer wanted to showcase the picture at the front of the store with other customer's pictures, but she told him "no" because she did not want me to become vain. She would bring me home used jewelry that her friends were getting rid of - jewelry that was missing pieces, etc. She had no clue what my tastes were because she and I NEVER went shopping just for the heck of it. I cannot say how many nights she would say nothing to me at bedtime but then I would listen to her in the next room talking a long time with my brother, just pleasant conversation. Gosh, this is just a few tidbits of hundreds. It was the fog that was in the home.
What amazed me was that I was able to parent my children. I was on my knees a lot praying to my Higher Power about that one, and I am so grateful that prayer was answered.
It's great to vent. That's for starting the thread.