Here we go..
Hi everyone.
This is my first time being here and essentially the first time acknowledging I have a problem and I really don't know what to say to be honest. I think I've gone from heavy drinker to simply drinking because it makes me feel normal, not just drunk. When I stop drinking for a day my mind feels blank, I've started to get the shakes, and sometimes wake-up in my own cold sweat. Not to mention the racing random thoughts during the night when I don't have my drinks.
My university studies are a huge pressure and that causes me to drink even more and it is becoming harder to focus on schoolwork when all I can think about is when I can drink later. Is that normal with alcohol addiction? I know I'm addicted but I just feel so hopeless; almost all of my aunts and uncles (and my father) are very heavy drinkers and/or alcoholics, however they are extremely gentle people and not abusive or angry in any form.
It is starting to get scary to think about not drinking because it feels like if I don't I'll go insane since I'm already prone to anxiety. Anyway I guess I've just felt so alone because my girlfriend that I live with doesn't drink so its very hard to relate to her or talk to her about my problems and I've been just dying to talk to other people like me. Sometimes we don't realize how lonely the world is even when there are people all around. Thank you everyone and have a Merry Christmas.