Not sure what kind of recovery you are working but al-anon would be a good place for him to start.
I got a lot out of reading here and reading al-anon literature. Co-Dependent No More, as already mentioned, was also good for me.
I would also describe myself as avoiding confrontation and I am just, in general, terrible at communication in healthy ways but I was certainly affected by my partners alcoholism - and he doesn't see that. He thinks I just woke up one day and flipped my lid and filed for divorce. Not that your husband is going to file for divorce - not at all - it is just hard to imagine being part of an alcoholic relationship and not having 'stuff' of our own to sort through whether that be resentment, trust, emotional exhaustion, whatever. Be open to the thought that he is struggling with his own feelings/recovery right now and may not really be in a place to focus on yours.
Also. I am not an alcoholic. I have read a ton on alcoholism. I know the biology. I get that there is a disease process. Even then I can't begin to wrap my brain around alcoholism on an emotional level. Accepting that you can never drink again would be important but understanding might be a bit much.