High Emma welcome. Lots of good advise in the above posts. Get online and do a search for a local Alcoholics Anonymous website. You should be able to find some meetings near you. There should be some numbers you can call to get a ride to a meeting or if it close enough you can walk or ride a bike. If you get a ride, make sure it is with another female.
This site here is incredible. Keep posting and sharing your thoughts and feelings. You will get great feedback. You will find you are not alone in the way that you feel and think. Do alot of reading here also.
God Bless