Amanda, a great honest question.
I JUST had this conversation with my boyfriend, who after 7 months sober threw his hands up and said he'd rather be drunk.
It is hard, it's not just giving up something bad for us, for many it's a lifestyle, rabbit's foot, social function, mood stabilizer,etc etc etc. So there is a very real and appropriate fear and grief that occurs when we say goodbye. But say goodbye we must.
The way to push us to actually say goodbye is to develop some faith and trust that life sans substance is possible and has tons to offer us. I find that hanging out here and reading helps me develop that trust, hope an faith.
All the good people here have not come here and don't spend hours posting here to tell me a bunch of lies out of some bizarre desire to make a stranger give up booze. They are here to share their stories because they want to help others find freedom and a better way of life.
When I find myself low on hope. I read, read, and read some more posts here. (some people go to f2f meetings as well)
Our relationships with these substances is an abusive one. And we need to get out of it, and not go back. Grieving for a time is normal, struggling a little as we rebuild a life, and create new healthy relationships, is normal. But going back is not a viable option.
If you are missing the old days, the fun and fellowship, again, come here and get reminded about the whole truth of our relationship with these substances. If it was nothing but a party, none of us would want or need to quit.
The good news is that once we are free of our addictive substance and the strangle hold it had on our lives, we are free to choose from thousands of ways to spend our time, money, etc. Our world doesn't get smaller, it gets wider. And we build real skills, rather than counting on a bottle or pill to get us through. Instead of being dependent, we grow into independence.