FT

Personally, I think it IS the addictive voice itself that is proclaiming the lack of desire to drink. What better way is there to let down your guard than to have the AV itself crying "Uncle".

Early recovery is often accompanied by a sense of accomplishment, that something has been achieved in a tangible sense. However, self-identifying as a non-drinker is not anything really "tangible", nothing has been "surrendered", because the individual is still left with being subject to the condition of being human.

Drives, and wants, and desires, even the one to drink, are normal for the human condition. It is not the presence or absence of those things, but the behavior that accompanies them. I do think it is somewhat dangerous to link the lack of desire to drink to the conviction or self-identity as a non-drinker.

Yes, I suppose not drinking approaches almost a position of activism, especially for newly self-identified non-drinkers. Later on, there seems to be less of a need to deny the existence of the thing we tried for so long to shed. Here and there, especially under conditions of high stress or emotional pain, the desire to drink does surface in me. These days, that feeling is more "interesting" than threatening.

When I fell in to opiate addiction surrounding orthopedic surgery, I was caught off my guard, not realizing my Beast had picked right up on a "new" idea for stress relief. I made the unfortunate mistake of not taking that new "threat" seriously, and it was only after I realized I had to look at opiates in the same way that I now view alcohol, that I was able to let that addiction go the way of my old alcohol "problem".

I guess what I'm saying is to be careful to recognize the addictive voice for what it is. Sometimes it is not what you think.

FT