Thanks for the well wishes and such. For the first two years, he did make some changes, and I thought things would work out. In fact, the first year and a half, I wouldn't date him exclusively because of his issues. Then I agreed, and it went ok. Went into a therapist and said "hey, I think I'm dating an alcoholic, but not sure. Here are the good things about him, and here are the bad things." And the therapist said "ok, but if he's an alcoholic, you know he's a sinking ship, right? Unless he gets help, but the odds are still not so great." I said "yep". So I would check in with the therapist to tell him what was up. Still the old stuff was popping up here and there. Since it got worse in the last six months, I basically told my BF that I was pursuing my life, and I needed someone with open communication skills, who wasn't afraid of intimacy. And he really needed to figure out why he was drinking. It was up to him on whether he was able to to that. And now I'm here, which is fine.
I have not tried Al-anon, but my therapist did suggest it. He said that even if I'm not with him, he's still basically in my front yard, and predicts that he'll pop up again.
Anyway, I hope to support some people here too. Even if the relationship is rotten, and you know it, it's hard to be in that spot.