Originally Posted by
lesliej 
Take a breath. You don't need to decide this very moment what you will do for holidays. You have ten days til xmas (if that is your holiday) to live in the moment. Live gently if just for a moment, this moment. Make a really good effort to look around you and find something to be grateful for!!! Very important to practice gratitude right NOW! Breathe. You are in the throes of resentment and it will eat up your spirit.
That's a good reminder. I very much struggle with "one day at a time" because I was always the woman with a plan. I didn't move out earlier because my family wanted me to stay, then I was afraid that my dog and horses would be mistreated if I left despite their wishes. Now I'm free and freedom feels overwhelming - I'm not used to just living for myself. It's eerily quiet in my world...
Originally Posted by
lesliej You are not letting go to let your brother off the hook. He has his own massive hook right now to deal with (or not). You are not letting go because your parents are "right" or the situation in your home is "ok". You are letting go because it is NOT ok and you just don't need to be SO attached to it right now. You don't even have to decide how much you want to let go...just let go a little and then practice progress...not perfection.
I just don't know how to interact with my family anymore now that I'm not in denial anymore...and again, I struggle with progress as opposed to perfection...I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop if I don't do things just right. Any tips on letting go?