Mahcat, Welcome!
A useful tool for recovery is trust. While using our DOC (I'm a recovering addict and I like to use inclusive language cause sometimes I feel left out since most of the threads are about alcoholism)
Anyway, Trust. While using, I didn't trust myself to be able to address life without my DOC. I didn't trust that I had any other tools available in myself or my life that would allow me to succeed at anything. I didn't trust the people around me. At first I trusted my DOC, but then it turned on me as well.
The fear and loneliness were overwhelming. I used my DOC compulsively hoping that somehow I'd get back to the point where it DID seem to help me. Then one day I screamed, there has to be something better than this.
I had to trust that somehow, somewhere, there was something, that I could trust would get me out of this mess. I found that something in recovery. Sometimes, the suggestions people made seemed pretty "out there" but as they say in the cartoons "it's so crazy it just might work!"
Discernment wasn't one of my strong points when I got into recovery, and coming here and listening to people further down recovery lane gave me some idea of what might work and what might not.
I hope you hang around. We do recover.